They’re both cute, and they’re both absolute whirlwinds of chaos (stock image) (Image: Getty Images/Image Source)
Babies and puppies share a remarkable number of similarities – both are adorable, both need a lot of attention, and both can prove an absolute handful much of the time. It might be reasonable to assume a baby’s needs far outstrip those of our four-legged companions, but one mother has shared her compelling reasons for believing the complete opposite.
Destinie Freeman, a qualified dog trainer, shared a tongue-in-cheek Instagram post explaining precisely why puppies are considerably more demanding than children. The mother-of-three, from Omaha, Nebraska, in the USA, regularly shares content about her family life, including her labrador Popcorn. She recently uploaded a post featuring a collection of photographs of Popcorn, with an overlaid caption reading: “Seven reasons I firmly believe having a puppy is harder than having a baby.”
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She added: “Qualifications: I am a dog trainer with a puppy and have also birthed three whole humans.” For her opening reason, she wrote: “You can burrito a baby to get them to sleep. If I tried to burrito my puppy, he’d eat the blanket, yell at me, and then hump whatever remained of the blanket.” ‘Burritoing’ a baby refers to swaddling them snugly in a blanket to encourage sleep, jokingly likened by many parents to making a burrito, reports the Mirror.
Her second point is something every puppy owner will instantly recognise. “Babies don’t bite your ankles (usually),” she said. Number three will resonate with anyone who has attempted to train a dog to relieve themselves outdoors. Destinie said: “You never appreciate the sheer brilliance of diapers until you’re outside at 2am in the rain whispering ‘go potty’ with circle patches under your eyes.”
For the fourth, she said: “No one tells you to socialise your baby to leaf blowers and people in hats before 16 weeks or they’ll be scared of everything forever.” And number five read: “You don’t need a 37-step plan to teach a baby how to lie down. You kinda just…lie them down.”
Number six was shared alongside a photograph of Popcorn sitting in his crate, gnawing on the bars. Destinie said: “It is widely socially acceptable to put your baby in a crib, to keep them safe and support sleep.”
And finally, she said: “When babies cry, people ask how they can help. When puppies cry, people ask what you did wrong, and if you’re even qualified to own a dog.”
Concluding, Destinie wrote: “Still thinking about getting a puppy? Just make sure your coffee is strong. your floors are moppable, and your expectations are real low.”
Commenters contributed their own humorous comparisons. One said: “You forgot babies can’t run away from you after they’ve eaten something they know they aren’t meant to.” They added: “An eight week old puppy does a lot more damage than an eight week old baby.”
Another user compiled their own list of counterarguments, writing: “I’m jealous of how easy your babies were, quite frankly. Puppies don’t get colicky and scream for hours a day even while you are holding them and nurturing them. Puppies don’t generally have digestive issues and vomit entire bottles multiple times a day. Puppies don’t need help farting.
“Puppies will let you place them down on the ground to explore. Puppies can be left home and thus don’t scream the entire drive. Puppies don’t wake up every 30 minutes at night. Puppies don’t bite your nipple. I could go on forever. Puppies are only harder than easy babies.”
A further commenter stated: “LUCKILY by four years old they become much easier than a four year old human.” Destinie replied: “I have a two year old right now and sometimes I hide with our lab in the bathroom so we can both get some peace.”
